My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
