What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
