Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
