that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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