He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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