the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
