And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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