I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think i have two assholes
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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