I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
