sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
