You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize