i would punch a child for taco bell
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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