Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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