Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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