The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
