Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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