Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
