Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
