Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
