I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
