Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
