So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
