My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
