Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
