your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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