he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
