so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
