No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
