omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize