So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
