you mean i was at the winter classic?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
