I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
