with your own penis?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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