This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
