ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
