is your mom at the bar?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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