So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
