from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
