Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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