C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
