Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
