She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
