Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
