1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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