what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
