Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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