cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize