I think i peed on brittanys purse
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
