Screwed.edu
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
