hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize