Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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