where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
