i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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