Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
