i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
