Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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