Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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