I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
