Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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