dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
