I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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