This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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