no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
