After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
