Already got asked if we're dating
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
