just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
