I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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